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What My Mother and I Dont Talk About MOBI ☆ Mother

ONE OF NPR’S BEST BOOKS OF 2019 Most Anticipated Reads of 2019 by Publishers Weekly BuzzFeed The Rumpus Lit Hub The Week and Ellecom Fifteen brilliant writers explore what we don’t talk to our mothers about and how it affects us for better or for worseAs an undergraduate Michele Filgate started writing an essay about being abused by her stepfather It took her than a decade to realize what she was actually trying to write how this affected her relationship with her mother When it was finally published the essay went viral shared on social media by Anne Lamott Rebecca Solnit and many others The outpouring of responses gave Filgate an idea and the resulting anthology offers a candid look at our relationships with our mothers While some of the writers in this book are estranged from their mothers others are extremely close Leslie Jamison writes about trying to discover who her seemingly perfect mother was before ever becoming a mom In Cathi Hanauer’s hilarious piece she finally gets a chance to have a conversation with her mother that isn’t interrupted by her domineering but lovable father André Aciman writes about what it was like to have a deaf mother Melissa Febos uses mythology as a lens to look at her close knit relationship with her psychotherapist mother And Julianna Baggott talks about having a mom who tells her everything As Filgate writes “Our mothers are our first homes and that’s why we’re always trying to return to them” There’s relief in breaking the silence Acknowledging what we couldn’t say for so long is one way to heal our relationships with others and perhaps most important with ourselves Contributors include Cathi Hanauer Melissa Febos Alexander Chee Dylan Landis Bernice L McFadden Julianna Baggott Lynn Steger Strong Kiese Laymon Carmen Maria Machado André Aciman Sari Botton Nayomi Munaweera Brandon Taylor and Leslie Jamison


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    These essays are varied in style and subject matter but that is fitting since we all have different relationships with our mothers I really noticed the recurring theme of setting boundaries as adults and the damaging power of denial and silence They made me very reflective for instance I realized the expectations I had for how my mother would change after my father's death were completely wrong and I have yet to adjust to the realityI had previously read the Kiese Laymon essay I think it's a chapter in the book Heavy An American Memoir but maybe reworked a bit There were a few I skimmed because I did not connect with themMy highlightsWhat My Mother and I Don't Talk About Michele FilgateSilence is what fills the gap between my mother and me All of the things we haven't said to each other because it's too painful to articulateMy Mother's Gate Keeper Cathi HanauerBut she had admitted it's 'not worth' fighting him to have access to her daughters or anyone else that point blank she chooses placating him over talking to usI must say I resonated deeply with this essay and would give it all the starsThe Same Story about My Mom Lynn Steger StrongThere is a gaping hole perhaps for all of us where our mother does not match up with mother as we believe it's meant to mean and all it's meant to give usMother Tongue Carmen Maria MachadoThis is what my mother and I don't talk about That it is not my fault she is so profoundly unhappy with her life That she had a chance to know me really know me as an adult and an artist and a human being and she blew it it's the fear that I've learned less from my childhood than I should have that I am like her than I want to beAlso a very stunning gut punch I received an eARC from the publisher through Edelweiss The essay collection came out April 30 2019