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epub pdf Finding Zach Author Rowan Speedwell –

This was about a young man of 15, kidnapped, tortured, raped, held prisoner in a cage, treated like his captors dog for 5 grueling years Then by a fluke Zach is saved and given back to his family this book was about Zach s path back, the courage, the strength, the will to not give up.And this was about his best friend David, and David s guilt over what he perceived as his part in Zach being kidnapped And David finding a way to convince Zach that he loves him and wants to be with him.I loved these two and I especially loved David s patience, love and understanding He truly loved Zach and was willing to give Zach whatever he needed to help him with his healing This story absolutely got right into my heart and I couldn t read this fast enough I found myself crying and absolutely shut out everything and everyone around me who might interfere in my reading This story absolutely positively moved me what a read amazing What to say Where to begin The books I love always seem to leave me speechless So it seems this is another one of those books So I think I will just make a list ofmy opinions I read it straight through all in one day I had no idea what it was about before I started I loved every word of it It was beautiful It was sad, but I didn t cry It was angsty, but not too angsty for me It felt real Zach was stronger than anyone gave him credit for David had the patience of a saint There was a lot of sexual tension Zach and David were frustrating and couldn t communicate The sex was hot I loved all the secondary characters view spoiler even Brian hide spoiler For Five Years, Zach Tyler, Son Of One Of The World S Richest Software Moguls, Was Held Hostage, Tortured, And Abused When He Is Rescued At Last From The Venezuelan Jungle, He Is Physically And Psychologically Shattered, But He Slowly Begins To Rebuild The Life He Should Have Had Before An Innocent Kiss Sent Him Into Hell His Childhood Best Friend David Has Lived Those Years With Overwhelming Guilt And Grief Every Relationship David Has Tried Has Fallen Apart Because Of His Feelings For A Boy He Thought Dead When Zach Is Rescued, David Is Overjoyed And Then Crushed When Zach Shuts Him Out Two Years Later, David Returns Home, And He And Zach Must Come To Terms With The Rift Between Them, What They Feel For Each Other, And What Their Future Could Hold But Zach Has Secrets, And One Of Them Might Well Destroy Their Fragile Love Spoilerish Review So, I read this book in french with Mish It could be that I missed something and it deserves an extra star, but I m going for four I gained a whole new level of respect for Giulio, Marco, and Marte while reading this book To read in a second language is a real challenge and I m amazed by these three, and all my other friends who read in a second language.This is not an easy read emotionally There is a lot of physical and sexual abuse in the MC s background I don t mind reading about these things, but they don t make for a breezy, fun read, obviously I was quite fond of the MC, Zach, and his love interest, David Their relationship felt real and I enjoyed watching them evolve.My only beef with this book, and what tempted me to give it three stars instead of four, was in David s treatment of Zach Zach, who is suffering from PTSD, should be handled with kid gloves David calls him names and is physically rough with him These scenes are written so that the reader understands David is just messing around, but I think anyone with common sense would know better than to tackle a rape victim and throw him to the ground Zach s reactions to this treatment were never believable to me.I am going to read this again in english in a few months and my rating may go up. sigh Oh, to be loved as David loved Zach Finding Zach is a book equal parts horrific, tragic, heartbreaking, sensual, victorious, and loving It touches on themes of kidnapping, abuse, family, young love, healing, and PTSD You d think you d go dizzy with ALL of that But, I found myself just feeling FULL at the end in the best way The loveliest part of this book, and the center of everything, is the relationship between Zach a boy kidnapped and tortured at the age of 15 for 5 years and David his longtime friend and the love of his young life What woo d me the most was how DEEPLY and COMPLETELY David devoted himself and loved Zach It s enough to make both the romantic and the cynic swoon I felt parts of this book in my heart, in my tears, in my girlie parts, in my toes, and even in my teeth I know that sounds weird but there are nerve ending there I had a bit of a struggle with the WHY of how deeply David felt towards Zach it took but one kiss for him to realize it and then hold on to it for years Damn must have been ONE FINE KISS But, I let it go because the love itself was GLORIOUS heavens parting, angels singing, gold shining glorious This book is not all roses and sunshine there are some difficult parts to read but if you re up to it, you ll be rewarded Highly recommended. I ve read it in one sitting and I ve enjoyed it I was in for the dark part There are only a few scenes that are really dark, mostly memories Overall it was a good one, it kept my interest, I enjoyed the main characters and the ending was pretty sweet. urmmit was not as angsty as I d hoped, which was disappointing This story has the potential to be quite an emotional roller coaster ride, but it fell short of expectation It might sounds a little messed up on my part, but Zach was not emotionally damaged enough for me Considering how f cked up, figuratively and literally, he was by what happened to him, I thought he should have been a bit , I don t knowunbalanced skittish insane something that would strongly conveys how traumatizing his time in captivity was And maybe he was all of that Maybe it was difficult as hell for him to overcome that horrific experience and gain back his humanity after those assholes had him at their mercy for so long But I wouldn t know because, unfortunately, we don t get to see any of that There was a time skip Yup a 2 year time skip between when he was rescued and when he reunites with David again And yeah it was really sucky on the author s part of leave out all the juicy details on how Zach overcame his trauma He went from crawling around on all four, growling and behaving like a beast, to walking, speaking, and going to parties like a regular person all within a couple of pages The change was too jarring for me, and I was deeply disappointed There are books that I read for laughs, books that I read for the fantasy, and there are books that I specifically read, hoping to be left sobbing into my pillowcase because my heart is breaking for the main character and whatever he she is going through And that whole period within the time skip there That would have been the highlight of this story for me It s where all the angst is supposed to be, where all the tears and the heartbreak, and the emotional roller coaster ride takes place I expected to be able to cry my eyes out over it Buuuut we don t get to see any of that, so the tears never came for me It was likeok, Zach s found, and then suddenly it s 2 years later, and he s pretty much gotten past the major milestones in the recovery process And he did it all without David being there at all to help him, or lend his support in anyway David just sort of came in later and helped him heal the rest of the way So were we robbed or what I think so But regardless, I d still say read it I m a bit disappointed, yes, but don t let my opinion stop you from trying this book This is not a bad book, and I liked it well enough Try it and see if the story works for you There were some great parts in this book I just wished the experience was fulfilling, and the emotions raw I wish there was depth, angst, just , you know This is an amazing story about the ability of the human spirit to endure the most horrendous situations and come out, if not unblemished, whole enough to have another go at leading a fulfilled life.It is not a book where I can simply say I loved the book and give a list of reasons The truth is, I didn t love all of the book because the thought of a human being, Zach in this case, having to go through such suffering and torture is not something I can love reading about.The reason I gave it 5 stars is that the message the book gives is one that I find impressive, as well as the way that the author gives us this message Neither Zach, nor the man he loves and who loves him back with an unwavering strength, are perfect Far from it They have misunderstandings and need to learn how to trust each other like any other couple Except they have to do it with the added obstacles of guilt and issues coming from their past and Zach s ordeal.It was a joy to see their relationship change and grow despite all these problems and both partners definitely being human beings with all the faults and issues attached to that status.A brilliant read, but one which requires a strong stomach. Rowan Speedwell HOLY CRAP You killed this one I loved it I loved this book so hard It tore me down and then put me back together I cried and clutched my kindle and could NOT put it down Easily makes my 2013 favorites list Standing ovation Yet again, this is another book that I refused to read the blurb of before I started I went into this book blind and was totally shocked and horrified during the first chapter of the book I was beside myself and, frankly, still am when I think about what happened to Zach in that god forsaken jungle This book is one that will stick with you for a long time The road to Zach s recovery was long and arduous and never easy His relationship with David btw I m in LOVE with the nickname Taff was both beautiful and difficult to watch Zach s physical and emotional scars were still very much present and colored every aspect of his burgeoning relationship with David What Zach has to overcome was just astounding If I had to describe this book in one word it would be raw The emotions were so raw and right at the surface during this entire book I felt like I was chewed up and spit back out during my reading experience However, going on David and Zach s journey was completely worthwhile I loved this book and the intense feelings it evoked I was so present the entire time An interesting note for me is that the author didn t heal all wounds during the course of this book view spoiler Zach never bottomed, which I really appreciated It felt real and not like David s magic dick came and solved years of abuse and trauma hide spoiler 2.5 StarsThis book was like being on a seesaw I m going to be the odd one out here, but I didn t believe Zach s story There were so many touching and heart wrenching parts that drew me in to Zach s pain and his heart but there was always something that tore me out of the story Notably, pointless POV changes, frequent angsty misunderstandings, and head hopping This story had so much potential There were some flashes of beautiful writing but as a whole it wasn t well executed I was happy the author didn t focus on the years that Zach spent in captivity but rather focused on Zach s recovery I just wished we saw of Zach dealing with his problems on his own rather than how it pertained to David and their relationship Two years are skipped between the time Zach was rescued and when he meets up with David again We see Zach continuing to deal with his trauma but we did not see the process that led to the point where Zach could begin to let David into his life We didn t follow his journey or see any of his breakthroughs We re just suppose to believe that Zach came out on the other side and is ready to love and be loved again Personally I needed and this is where I lost the connection to Zach It seemed like the romance and the relationship were important than Zach s recovery I understand that both MC s have constant self doubt, especially considering the circumstances, but I didn t believe in their struggle All the misinterpretations and drama got old and didn t feel genuine I hate to say this but it felt like the author was throwing all this in just to give it a love can get you through anything feel Zach was tortured both physically and mentally, he was humiliated and is still suffering but many times this is lost and felt secondary to the repetitive and predictable melodrama I ended up get extremely frustrated because in my eyes it trivialized what Zach was going through It is a disservice to the book I understand that this is a romance but did the romance have to only consist of argument, world is ending, make up, then wash, rinse, repeat This is what ruined the book for me.As far as the POV changes go, I didn t need to hear from either of Zach s parents, David s mother or the reporter IMO, none of this added to the story All the characters were dealing with the same emotions and issues and there was nothing new or different between them The perfect parents and friends made the entire atmosphere seem fake Everyone was so supportive and accepting, which again made me feel like the author was pushing the everyone needs to be happy button Also, why was every therapy session with Zach s parents Obviously group therapy is needed but was it necessary for the story It would have been much believable if we saw Zach s solo therapy sessions Zach was holding back so many times because he didn t want to discuss things in front of his parents It doesn t make sense I also went back and forth with David too I loved how David didn t coddle Zach or push him but at times he did some pretty bonehead things that were completely insensitive.Between the predictable drama and the head hopping, I didn t know where to turn To me, this was superficial with very little depth It s difficult for me to brush these issues under the rug, especially when a book deals with such a serious subject matter In the beginning, I really got pulled into Zach s story but ultimately I was disappointed.